No-one really talks very much about feeling lonely. I guess that is fairly obvious since often loneliness can be equated with being isolated from those around you. Yet it is possible to feel terribly alone even when in a group of lively people.
In the frantic run-up to Christmas, with a personal expectation of seeing family and friends, I started thinking about all the lonely people (yes, also humming Eleanor Rigby) and how this time of year, in particular, can exacerbate feelings of being alone and forgotten, whether or not that is the reality.
Hybrid working has been touted by many as the office worker’s nirvana, but for others, it has only intensified their isolation. What is the point of going into the office if those colleagues who are there are only in for meetings (not with you, of course) or, worse if no one else is there at all? Arguably, the longer the period you spend working remotely, the more the reluctance to leave your home increases. There are a few studies emerging which suggest remote working can have a negative impact on mental health (e.g. Samantha et al. 2020), including increased anxiety and psychosocial deterioration.
But back to the idea of being a lonely worker and how, really, this all boils down to feeling you belong and having friends/work colleagues you can banter with or even confide in. A ten-year-old study, way before Covid, found that a lack of a social connection at work even has a direct adverse effect on a company’s performance. The logic here is that feeling you belong, and are not isolated, makes all the difference between motivated enthusiasm and “how quickly will home-time come”.
Lonely people are not necessarily introverted, and even the most overtly outgoing colleagues can feel lonely. So, what is the point of my blog? Well, it’s this: Christmas and New Year are recognised as being all about friends and family. Even in these more enlightened times of speaking up on mental health issues, loneliness is still, ironically, kept to the lonely.
Those of us who can, should acknowledge others with a smile and a “hi”, just so they know that we know they are there and among friends. It might seem that I am trivialising it, but someone has to take the first step.